WHAT'S THIS? TWICE IN ONE NIGHT? ABSOLUTE MADNESS.

"...Mom?"
My voice croaked like an eighty year old toad. I swallowed hard. I didn't know why I was doing this. Because my boss called me a stupid vacking cow? I'd been called worse. A lot worse. By people who'd meant a lot more to me at the time.
My mom, for one. Part of why I didn't know why I was even doing this.
"Hhello?" Her voice was slurred. She was high. Or drunk. "Whoizzthis?"
"It's me." The word cracked. "Um. Julian."
Silence.
"...Whho?"
Tears stabbed my throat and clawed out of my eyes, which were already pretty red and puffy. I could feel my mascara running, down the corner of my eye, staining my pillow, along the bridge of my nose to the tip, where a drop hung and tickled. I scrubbed it away with the back of my hand and sniffled.
"Julian. Mom. Your son."
"...Uhh."
That was it. It wasn't an "uhuh" or even an "ahh". Just "uhh."
"You know? Blonde hair, bl--" crack. "Blue eyes? You gave birth to me a little over nineteen years ago? You kicked a nurse in the eye and said I--" God, why was I vacking saying this, I wasn't even sure it was true, she'd told me this when she was high and I was eleven, "You said I was beautiful like a little angel."
More silence.
"...Jjuliann?"
"Yes," I said, feeling a little excited. I smiled and sniffled some more. "Your son. Remember?"
"...Whherre are you?"
"I'm staying with my boss."
"Whho?"
"My boss. Her name's Sil. She runs a garage--"
"Wherre have you beenn?"
"I just said. I'm staying with my boss--"
"'s been lookingg all overforryyouu."
"What?"
"Louis's been...lookinggforyou? He wann'ed to knnow...where you werre..."
"Louis beat me up, Mom. That's why I left." I was afraid I was losing her.
"Whhat?"
"Louis beat me up. Really bad. Because I lost his...package. Or whatever."
"His packagge."
"Yeah, Mom. He gave it to me to give to someone and I lost it."
"You lost it?"
"Yes, Mom." Getting frustrated. Be patient. She'll come around. "I lost it. And I went home. And he beat the shit out of me."
The silences were getting longer.
"You were there," I said, and felt tears welling up again. "You were right there. You were right there in the living room and you stood there and he wouldn't stop kicking me and it hurt--" I squeaked and stopped for a minute, taking a long breath, "You didn't do anything. Remember?"
More vacking damned silence--
"Mom!" I said, and sat up. "You were right there. You were right there and he wouldn't stop--are you even listening? Do you even understand anything I'm vacking saying?"
"I...Louisss...Did hhe hit you?"
"Yes, Mom. He hit me. A lot. And kicked me. And he wouldn't stop. And I--I asked you to help me--I was--I was crying--and you didn't--you wouldn't--" Mascara ran into my mouth and I gagged on it, choking and spitting it out. I scraped at my mouth with my fingers, trying to get it out, crying with my throat closing up and choking on vacking mascara.
"Julian? Jjulliann?" She actually sounded vaguely alarmed. "Jjuliann. Juliann?"
"Yes?" I asked. "Mom. I'm here." I'm here. Tell me you miss me. Tell me you're worried. Tell me what moms are supposed to tell their kids when they've run away from home and miss you and call you because they want to come home and need you to tell them to come home before they can.
"Louiss...'s been lookinngg forr you...youshhouldd come hhome."
I stopped breathing with disbelief.
"Why," I said. "Why would I do that, Mom?"
"He...Louiss wantss tto talk ttoo you..."
"I don't care about Louis, Mom! I don't give a vacking shit about vacking Louis! I just--God, I don't know why I--I've been crying, Mom, and it hurts, and I'm tired, and I feel sick, and I--oh, God."
I collapsed back on to the bed, shoving my face into the pillow.
"Jjuliann?"
I had a couple sobs before I pulled myself together and made myself say it. I didn't think I could and then I made myself say it.
"Mom. Mom? Mom."
"Jjuliann."
"Mom. Mom...tell me you love me. Please. Say I love you. Just once." I sniffled and wiped i on my sleeve. "Please."
Silence.





"Mom. Please."







"Please."




"Hhehllloh?"
"Mom?"


"...Whhoissthiss?"




...Click.